A Call to the Police in the Middle of the Night Encouraged Me To Make This Writing Proposal to You
It’s summer, sir!
I have a writing assignment for you today. Start your story with this: “It's Summer, sir!” You can choose any format you like, so let your imagination run wild. I can't wait to read your work! Wait! Don't leave just yet, I have something else to tell you. How did I come up with this writing idea? Let me tell you.
Last night, or rather around 2 a.m., as I was trying to fall asleep thinking about what my new life would be like if I reached 100 subscribers (being recognized on the street, having to sign autographs for all my fans, requesting security, etc.), I decided to call my local police station.
You're probably wondering why I needed to call the police in the middle of the night, right? No, my wife didn't beat me up. Besides, I'm not married and I'm single. In fact, my nerves were shot for another reason.
An illegal gathering of high-powered sports cars a few blocks away was enjoying endless, deafening drag races in the middle of the night. That was the reason for my call. The concert of roaring engines and overheated tires sliding across the asphalt for over an hour had worn out my patience.
Something had to be done!
Calling the police
2:21 a.m. I'm waiting for someone to answer on the other end of the line. The call will last 58 seconds. Don't worry, , I can usually last longer than that.
“Hello sir, I'm calling because for over an hour now, sports cars have been making a terrible racket a few streets away from my house. I think some guys are doing drag races on the avenue a little further down. It's getting really annoying at this time of night.
— Yes, yes, we already have two vehicles on site.
— Oh, okay, great! Do you know what's going on?
— It's a group of people who get together, fans of car tuning.
— Oh, okay! But, um... You're going to fine them, I hope? Because, well, it's illegal, isn't it?
— We have two vehicles on site, sir, we're taking care of it.
— Okay, thank you. But, um... this isn't the first time this has happened. It's been happening a lot lately, and it's always late at night.
— It's summer, sir!
— Yes, it's summer, but still...”
It’s summer, sir!
I hung up at the end of that sentence. The cop on the other end of the line seemed annoyed by my complaint, and I was about to raise my voice, so it was better to end it there. So I went back to bed, and the sports cars continued to accelerate for nearly an hour. Trying to relax, I thought about what I really wanted to say to that cop.
“Oh, yes, sorry, officer, it's summer! I completely forgot that little detail! It's summer, so it's perfectly normal for a bunch of gas-guzzling jerks to spend most of the night annoying all the residents of a neighborhood by revving the engines of their 300-horsepower cars while speeding down a public road with a speed limit of 50 km/h! What an idiot I am, officer! Sorry for bothering you! Would you like me to get you some ice cream? It's hot and I have nothing to do but sleep. Don't feel shy about asking me anything, I'm at your service!”
Then I wrote the story you just read in my head, and finally fell asleep. I don't know what I'll do when I have enough subscribers to buy a 300 horsepower sports car. In any case, I don't think I'll become a jerk and bother other people.
I'll invite
to come with me for a drive in the country, or I'll ask her to wash my car with water and lots of foam. But I'm more likely to drive to visit and his chickens in Normandy, since he lives closer to me. By the way, does anyone know how many subscribers you need on Substack to buy a sports car?It's summer, Sir! Get typing!
Lolllllll I am so proud of my tag in this 😆😆
HA! Number of subscribers needed. Infinity!